One Tree Hill

I will be the first one to admit that the television shows I choose to watch are what others would probably classify as weak.  I don't watch anything that is intellectually stimulating, unlike my husband who is intrigued by the History Channel or any of those crime shows that keep him guessing throughout an episode.  The shows I fall hard for like this one or One Tree Hill, remains in my mind even years after the series finale.

Last year, a co-worker of mine expressed her fondness of the show One Tree Hill.  I remember loving the show and never missing an episode, but stopped watching it because I became to tied up in a web that we call life. So I seized the opportunity and borrowed all nine seasons from her.  It took me about a  year to watch every season and during many late nights, I found myself sitting on the couch, thinking.  Thinking of the fact that this show has seriously some of the most amazing quotes, the BEST music, and the main character's gift with words could easily be idolized by any person who has ever kept a journal.  Needless to say, all the above really tugged at my heartstrings.

I finished the last season a few weeks ago and wrote down one of the very last quotes said by one of the main characters named Haley.

"Human beings are ambitious.  We spend so much time wanting, pursuing, wishing. For the most part that's okay.  Ambition is good. Chasing things with integrity is good. Dreaming. As long as the chase doesn't diminish what we already have.  The goodness we take for granted, the people we take for granted, the lives we take for granted.  My life is good."  ~One Tree Hill 

I love quotes and will continue to share.   Stay tuned! 

Celebrating in Brooklyn

As we are preparing for Katrina's Chicago wedding, I can't help but post a few pics of her NY wedding.  She didn't want the typical wedding with hundreds of guests, so she opted for a smaller venue.  She also looked for something that was budget friendly and when the special day arrived my sister-in-law had such a beautiful, garden themed wedding. 

I'm a sucker for detail, but I honestly feel like these pictures don't need any words:

Heels? Flats?......Or Both?

(Dirty Turtle chair in Wisconsin)

What kind of mom are you?

As for me, I can tell you one thing about myself: I love big.
When I love someone or something- I love it with all my might and (even though I am horrible at managing my time) I try to invest as much as I can into what or who I love. 

With that being said, one of my top priorities has always been showing my family and friends how much I love them.  I try my best to keep these people active in my life despite how crazy busy life can be!  But there is always negativity that surrounds something good.  I can sense some are surprised at the fact I still occasionally go out at times sans my child.  I guess to some, people think mothers should only be surrounded by their families 24/7.

That works for some, but not all.  To each it's own, right?  I don't ask the mothers (who choose an opposite schedule from me) why they don't pencil in more girl time.  Some mothers choose to see their friends only when playdates are involved and a girls night out is a chapter in their lives that has come to an end. 

Not for me.

Not that I need to explain myself but I want to.  My husband works long hours during the work week and on some Saturdays.  I try not to vent about this because I know he is working hard for all of our futures.  He also has a difficult time sitting still on the weekends when he is not at work.  He loves to work on projects around the house. (Thanks to him, we have a finished basement!)  I, on the other hand, have the MUCH less complicated work schedule.  I am home by 3:00 which thankfully enables me to have a lot of one on one time with my son before bedtime and I also take the weekend shift when Tom is engrossed with a DIY project or work.  So when an opprotunity arises and I am able to have a little alone time, I take it!  Does that make me a bad mother because my child is not always with me?

I can clearly recall always having a close relationship with my single mother who held a full-time job. At a very young age, I understood her way of escaping the daily grind was a night out dancing with my aunt. (Even in her 50's!!) This occurred every once in a while and I find that this lifestyle reduces stress. When I am with my friends or sisters we love to talk, have a few drinks, and reminisce.  Laughter and smiling constantly is a given.  Afterward, I find myself coming back refreshed and any stress that I've been carrying has been lifted. 

I love Jake more than anything or anyone. But I made a promise to myself not to change too much when I became a mother.  Yes, of course, soooooo much changes, but I knew that because I am big on love-the people in my life will stay in my life and intermittent outings will continue.

I know my limits.

(Thank you Joanna for our (five hour?) lunch at the Clubhouse where we talked about our much needed release and I hope you are having fun in Puerto Rico.  I understand and I'm so glad you "get me" too!)

Another Goodbye

Saying goodbye is never easy.  As the Facebook friend requests continue to pour in from my fellow eighth grade students, I can't believe my time with them has come to an end.  I feel sad.  I feel blessed.  I feel grateful. I feel like my job is a gift at times.

Before the school year ended, I had a discussion with another teacher about being "friends" with the students. Apparently, some teachers see my positivity as a negative. (Rest assured, I'm not friends with any of my students and I will not allow them to become part of my social networking world.)  I care for my students, crack occasional jokes, provide advice, and try to guide them in a positive direction.  I guess that's a bad thing to some because unfortunately some teachers see it as only a job. They don't care if they leave a mark. Sometimes they can be quick to disregard the students and they tend to classify them as a group, rather than as individuals. They allow their students to enter and leave the classroom like an unknown crowd using a revolving door and they most likely never think of them again.

I'm different. I try to get to know each and everyone of them.  I'm with these students for nine months out of the year for two consecutive years. And then just like that- poof, it's over!  They are gone.  Entering a world without your guidance.  And all I can do is hope for the best.  Hope they won't forget what I taught them.  Hope they won't forget my advice and make the right decisions.  I have two years to change them and when they walk on that stage it's a happy time for the both of us.  They are ecstatic  because they officially graduated and are off to high school!  As for me, I'm happy because I know I gave it my all.

When I read their goodbye letters, I couldn't help but tear up at times.  This is MY moment of reflection and this is when I feel extremely blessed knowing teachers really can make a difference.  Below are some of their words written to me:

The way you helped me for high school and prepared me for it is a really loving and caring thing you did for me.  But the question I keep on asking myself is why me. ~Ramon

You changed my personality a lot.  I used to feel alone and that my work isn't worth anything.  That if I wouldn't have been alive, everything would be the same or even better, but you taught me to believe in myself and to think that I have a meaning in life. ~Fabian

When my parents didn't believe in me, you did. ~Selenne

Sometimes it just takes one person to change another.  ~Rogelio

Sometimes I just came to school for this class.  ~Zadkiel

Your words made me grow up.  You're more than a teacher.  I look up to you.  ~Yesenia

If my rap career doesn't work out, I want to be an LA teacher like you. ~Omar

To be honest there was nothing I didn't like about this class. Every morning waking up, I looked forward to this class. Out of all the teachers, I will miss you the most.  You have a great personality but are strict when needed.  There won't be a teacher as cool as you and if there is, I won't be as close with that teacher.  ~Luis

You changed my life by helping me write better and express my feelings.  I always thought I would be made fun of.  You are the only teacher who understands where I come from and talks about our futures. ~Edgar

You made me want to be as cool as you.  You are different from other teachers.  You snap on us, joke with us, and give us life lessons and tips.  You also eat a lot for a small person.  ~Stephanie

Your son will grow up to be someone amazing because you are. ~Georgina

I think you were the only teacher who helped students with their problems. ~Santos

You light up student's faces.  I wasn't nice to people before but now I am.  And it's all because of you.~America

Our talk has helped me out a lot.  You made me realize people do care and want me to do okay with my life.  I never talked to any teacher like that.  You are my hero. ~Tania

Nobody in my life has ever treated me with respect and believed in me. ~Vrian

I wish I could show you how grateful I am that you came into my life.  You made things so much easier. ~Yerania

I never encountered a person who believed in me. You loved us like your own. Thanks for reviving my self confidence. ~Angie

You made me realize not everything in life will be handed to you.  You have to work hard. ~Leslie

Take care of Jake and lay of the hot wings.  Eat healthy. Jake is lucky to have a tremendous role model in his life. ~Eve Molly

You taught me to be myself, not a follower. ~Floribel

You taught us not only about Language Arts, but life.  It takes a lot for a person to do such a thing. ~Monserat

You changed my point of view of school.  It could be okay if I have a teacher like you. ~Eddie

Just coming to school and seeing how positive you are made me forget about my problems. ~Josafat

Being an adult is boring when you make it boring.  Life is what you make of it.  You taught us this. ~Shantez

I wouldn't change one thing about your class. ~Emilio

Some of my entries I read I can't believe I wrote something like that. ~Cassandra

Your heart is made of gold and anyone who tells you different is jealous of you. ~Samantha

Thanks for being a goofball and brightening our day. ~Juanita

You changed all of our attitudes and that is not an easy task. You conquered all of this by yourself which is a huge milestone. ~Joshua


*** These letters made me look at saying goodbye from a completely different angle.  Saying goodbye doesn't always have to be a sad moment.  Consider it an experience that you learned from.  ~Mrs. K. 

Why Blog?

It's been awhile since I've wrote.  I can blame it on motherhood, my job, etc. But the fact of the matter is, I think it's been a combination of two things.  First one: I'm busy.  So therefore, I disregard anything that is more of a want, not a need.  I have a tendency to turn my back on things that require some type of motivation.  Whether it's working out, eating right, or in this case: writing.

Second reason: to be quite honest, the world of blogging has changed for me.  The blogs that I follow seem to all want to achieve the same goal. And that goal is: to create a crowd.  I run over the photographs that they post and the words pin me pops up.  People want to be followed, and if that's their thing, I'm not here to criticize. To each their own, right? These bloggers are doing what they love, but truthfully, this recent shift has left me questioning my blog.   Should I follow the trend?  Is my blog looking ancient to others?  But then I realized what I still love about blogs and what I still enjoy about mine. 

I created this tiny little space, a mere glimpse into my life, and that's what I still adore about other blogs.  I love that I can read about personal experiences, simple musings, and comment on topics that have some kind of substance. That's life. It's what I can relate to.  

My favorite writer has held on to the "old way" of blogging. The old way, to me, is sort of like an open diary.  Only with this "diary"- you don't mind if someone else reads it.  And you're doing it for yourself and you're not seeking any type of gain.  So, I've decided, I'm forever sticking to the old way as well.

Because let's face it.  Despite the fact I have created this, I am a pretty private person.  I only tell a select few everything/anything about me.  I never wanted 1,000+ followers on Facebook or my current obsession which is Instagram.  I'm a fan of lower numbers and don't care how many likes a photo receives. I post things for me, for my family, and for my closest friends to see. And that's the sole purpose of this blog.  I write here for myself and when I created this space, I shared it and continue to share it with a very small number of individuals.  To me, blogs are a personal space, and that space should be personal, right?!  So I'm keeping things the way they are. 

Well, not exactly.
I won't wait another seven months to write again. :)